uh huh

oh yeah

2009-02-03T22:38:46Z

i forgot about this site...
dont have anything to really talk about right now so i'll just post a picture
of my smile haha

koekoe @ 2007-06-24T12:24:00

2007-06-24T19:34:49Z

i must confess that i have been reading someones journal...but honestly i find myself wondering what they will right next, this person is not someone who i admire, or long to be like or long to be liked by them. i think the reason i read their journal is to asure myself that they are in fact a real person, capible of feeling, like me. well not like me because they are crazy. but secretly (well not so secretly now that this is on the world wide web) i hope to find an apoligy. some words that they have realized that they have done wrong and are feeling sorry for it. its a high hope. in fact i'm never mentioned in this journal which is ironic with how much hate they show me. so it makes me think that it is ALL SHOW. the hate that is. i mean if someone bothers you so much that when you see them you blow up and scream at the top of your lungs negative things about them, wouldn't you think you would write about it later?? or sooner? i dont know. maybe i'm the only one like that? hmm.i must say also that it is kind of creepy that i read their journal, not only because it is their journal but because i'm not their friend. at all. but again they do post it online. open for ANYONE with the internet to read at their own pleasure.
random.

i got my new plates for my car, and on my registration they spelled my name DOLLEEN.
way to go DMV!

koekoe @ 2007-05-31T14:53:00

2007-05-31T21:50:45Z

just one thing.

i'm turning 20 in 3 days.

koekoe @ 2007-05-16T01:11:00

2007-05-16T08:21:57Z

so i decided that i had to write this out because i've become so annoyed and angry about this that i just have to write it out.
background to this hatred.
josh has a brother named steven.
steven has a bitch ass girl friend named jessi.
she is in fact a bitch. no joke.
so any who.
i took a picture of steven off of jessi's myspace and put it in my heroes section, because the picture of him was HILARIOUS/ not to mention i had a picture of j [josh and steven's little sister] on there as well.
so after doing this, josh gets bitched out by his pussy whipped brother. telling him, to tell me [haha] to take off the picture.
did i?
hahaha no.
so then i get a message from jessi via myspace, that said quote, i know you're jealous of my boyfriend but you dont have to make it that obvious. get a life. mine is too good for you. end quote. NO JOKE.
sooo i didn't write her back because messages wouldn't send
which i thought was convenient.
so still i did NOT take the picture off.
haha i was getting why too good of responses to do that.
so another few days go by and i get another message.
mean while josh has been getting phone calls and text messages and IM's to tell me, to take that shit off.
so the next message. all it says
NOW bitch.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
basically thats all i could think to do.
so dumb.
so i finally take the picture off
because its URL got changed.
and come to find out jessi has made a bulletin about me and josh and shayda and andy.
basically saying we are ugly. and that i have STDs and am a slut.
thennn on jessi's myspace she writes this stupid thing about
likes: steven rosenfield.........blah blah blah [like 3 things]
dislikes: girls that look like boys [me], boys that like girls that look like boys [josh], and goes on to personally attack all of us.

what the HELL

hahahaha
how old are we?
seriously.

so come thursday i will let her know a bit of my mind
we have philosophy together.
amazing.
and its the final so she'll be there this time.
annnd i just basically wanna punch her in the face.

its amazing how i made it through high school with NONE of this shit.
and now that i'm supposed to be becoming an adult and maturing i get this little bit of high school drama put into my life.
its sooo annoying.

i want to just say FUCK IT , FUCK YOU.
but its there. shes always there.
and i cant say anything to shut her up because

jessi's mind is so out of wack.
she is seriously psycho.
no joke.
she needs medication to be a normal functioning american.
and she hasn't found that medication yet.
so i dont know what to do.

even worse shes come between josh and steven.
so now steven isn't like allowed to hang out with josh.
its sooo dumb.

i really just want her to move away.
far far away.

just woke upppppppp :]

2007-04-14T18:09:51Z

dream 4/13/07

killer whales.

on vacation somewhere by the ocean.... with a girl, unknown to me... we find our hotel is an extremely hidieous city like structure right next to the water so we were bummmmmed. but so we walked a lil ways away from it and found a lil cottage riiiiiiight on the water that was sooo much cuter. so we were hanging out by it, it had a lil dock so we went on it, but it wasn't like a sturdy dock you would get wet if you didn't stay completely still, or u would prolly fall into the water..... soo i was on the dock and the girl went back up the stairs around and down to the lil cottage, and we were just hanging out enjoying the veiw and then i see a killer whales head pop up and i started freaking out, and then it started jumping up and splashing and splashing with its tail and i was freaking out i couldn't get up to the stairs, finally the girl was like i'm gonna come get you hold on! and she JUMPED INTO THE WATER!!! i freaked out, she started freaking out and then the killer whale started playing with her. and like the people at sea world she was riding it on its nose cept it wasn't cool. so i finally got the ability to stand back and could run across the dock with out falling in the water, so i make it up the stairs and around the other side where there were rocks, where the girl had been pushed onto and now i was trying to pull her up and the killer whale tried to jump up and grab her. but heres where this dream gets supppppppper freaky.
the killer whale was albino. yes it was WHITE! and it had red eyes. and then just as quick as the killer whale fell back into the water a SHIT LOAD of more killer whales some albino and some regulars show up anddddddddddddddd
a bunch of 1/2 killer whales 1/2 people that were albino standing there stairing at us. with creepy eyes , they stood there and looked at us kinda like those creatures in the decent. like they dont quite look at you but it looks like it so its just super creepy. so thennnnn this guy grabs onto me while im leaning over pulling this girl up and he just holds on to me, and my heart is racing, because of the odd looking whales and now because theres a guy holding on to me. then i turn around and hes with a girl and they ask how everything is and how our room is and thats about it, so now its dark and all the whales and whale people are in the water about to sing a song , and i toooooootally knew the song that they were gonna sing so i ran back down to the dock to sing with them and then i hear
" shake shake shake that money makerrrrrrrrr, like you were shaking it for some paperrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..."
and i'm like shit shit my phone is all the way back on those rocks and i get up to go get it and then i wake up.
and ive got a text from josh's sister asking me something about see's candies....

what the hell?
killer whales are seriously one of the scariest animals in the water. i've always been afriad of them but albino ones ??? so weird.

koekoe @ 2007-03-20T02:04:00

2007-03-20T09:36:45Z

i should prolly start off with that i dont know exactly what im complaining about. all i know is there are a million thoughts running through my mind right now... i guess the easiest way to get them out is by one liners... or whatever.

jealousy.
i dont like people sometimes. certain people. and i let anyone know if they ask. i'm not one to go up to their face tho and voice that opinion i have of them. but then. then i get over it and i dont care about it anymore. and people ask or assume that that feeling is still the same about that person and it kinda gets me a lil mad. then i get over it. seriously.
i get over things so quickly
and i guess its a huge problem that i dont enjoy my apartment.
its not that i dont like the people i live with. at all. i seriously love them all and would do anything i could for them.
but their living habits.
ashlee tho. shes pretty bomb. and we have basically the same living habits. so how could i dislike her?
but no matter what i seem to do, i always end up making her mad or something at me. and it just gets awkward until i stay home and do nothing all day. if i leave without her it seems like i've offended her.
i dont know why i cant just say all this to her face. i guess i'm basically a wuss. i really am.
i'll talk alotta shit. but i would never hit anyone.
no matter what they've done.

i love way to much.
but not really.
cause how can you love too much?

obviously i contradict myself alot as well.
i have way to many thoughts that run through my head.

and im not sad.
i'm far from it.
i'm always happy.
it just kinda sux when the people im around arent.
cause then i feel just an overall downer within the ora.

but i shouldn't let other people affect MY moods.

life is pretty amazing.
and i love nature.

i was doing laundry the other day at my apt. and they just spent like a month "re doing" the laundry room, and it still has the same exact washers and dryers...but new paint. so i was like oh thats interesting. and they've started planting more plants and trees around the place...but heres the story. so i was doing laundry and there was an older lady with a smoker voice who said something along the lines of " they spent what a month on re doing this place and they brought all the old shit back ?" and i replied, "yeah its kind of a bummer huh..." then she responded with, " they spent all that damn money on those trees and bushes but they couldn't buy new washers and dryers?!?!" and i just looked at her and said " yeah i guess so.." but honestly i'm happy there are new plants and trees. it makes this place not so bad.
call me a tree hugger...a hippie....call me whatever you want really.
but i like nature.

i got a pink plant in a pink pot from my great auntie's 80th birthday lunch.
i like to take care of it.
its grown.
and that makes me happy.

dartanian makes me love life when she lets me hold her.
even if she pees on the couch.
i love that cat.

so i dunooooo
im not un happy.
with myself.
i'm just not having this feeling of making sure other people are happy with my choices.
but im saying that people are intentionally doing that.
its just what im feeling.

but on a side note. cause hes never done anything that has ever made me think otherwise of him.
i love joshua rosenfield.
its definetly a new kind of love.
and i'm so greatful that hes sharing it with me.
♥

i kinda just feel eh. right now tho. just trying to figure out what i gotta do to make everything right. with everyone.
♥

oh its true <3

2007-03-06T09:36:55Z

so no job at active.... i'm going to school, so my schdual doesn't work with theirs.... sucky. i'm actually trying now with school... which is good. but sucky cause i need moneys.
i have a job at mac grill (alek is 125% sure).... i have to go to another interview.... so hopefully...
school is fun. crazy huh. cept philosophy.... dont understand it much, and i dont enjoy a certain ora of a certain person... not hard to guess. but gotta get over that on my own time.
people are ridiculous. yah?
got a parking ticket yesterday... haha laaame.
so more important things.
i'm in loveee
joshua...the best thing everrr. for lack of more clever words. i'm crazy about him. sparks fly . all the time :]:
he is honestly amazing. seriously i'm so lucky and grateful for him in my life.

koekoe @ 2007-02-10T17:57:00

2007-02-11T02:03:16Z

lots of drama/stress lately... .
get over it ... right?!

side note : it smells like panclacks right now. i didn't know the mexicans ate panclacks... haha

and i'm listening to from autumn to ashes...... takes me back to like jr year.. hahaha ahh yeah.
but any ways.
i dont have a job. need one reaaaaal bad.
need the moneys to live.
so i was thinking urban outfitters.... or active..
filled out an app for UOF online
gotta go take a resume to the orange active tomorrow.
i'm so excited i want a job so bad.
i wish that this area wasn't so agaisnt facial piercings.... well actually its not really that bad. but yeah.
haha
jealousy is lame.

koekoe @ 2006-10-05T11:07:00

2006-10-05T18:11:09Z

my car died.

well the battery did.

and now i'm stuck at home.
missing class.
which isn't a good thing.
since i didn't go last week cause i was sick.
bummmmmerrrrrrr fer shure doods.
:[

i need to get a bike & then become a BMX legend.
ready for that??

i know i am.

koekoe @ 2006-07-25T17:52:00

2006-07-26T00:50:47Z

sooo

i need help. finding an apartment....
& finding some roommates...

help??

koekoe @ 2006-07-16T20:48:00

2006-07-17T03:56:27Z

so. i moved most of my stuff back to my mom's.
and.
i'm not happy.
i knew i wasn't going to be.
i need to find a place of my own.
i need to find room mates that respect me & my things & the things i do for them.

it'd be cool if the boys were not rediculous with all of this.

koekoe @ 2006-07-11T11:08:00

2006-07-11T18:11:22Z

so i'm pretty much over it.
dont really wanna live with these boys anymore.
prolly move back with my mom.
then move out later with people
maybe.
i'm not sure.
i'm over stupid shit.
i'm over having to deal with this.
say one thing dont do anything about it.
its bull shit.
and i hate it.

koekoe @ 2006-06-13T10:28:00

2006-06-13T17:35:09Z

i love life.
i'll never stop loving it.
but.
i can't handle alot of what comes my way.
sux.
i hate having to be the responsible one in an apartment filled with 19 year olds
and daniel. (18).

i hate that money is the answer to everything in america/world.
i dont think it is.
but everyone around me does.
cept andrew. sumtimes daniel.

i really wish it was august already.
so i could leave
go to idaho.
see new places
meet new people.
get out of southern california.
the oc.

the oc.
i must say i do like the beach.
and disneyland, when its NOT crowded.
and my family. since most of them are around here.
but.
its overwhelming.
life.

i just dont know what to do.

koekoe @ 2006-05-07T22:51:00

2006-05-08T05:52:39Z

i need a new job. wanna find me a well paying, receptionist job?

mommy quit her yob! [name that movie??? <3 ]

koekoe @ 2006-04-15T11:01:00

2006-04-15T18:12:45Z

tomorrow is easter sunday.....
incase you lived in a cave for the past week or something i'm just letting you know..
and i have to work from 9:30-6.
i think that is morally wrong. haha
well maybe not morally but i think its wrong.
so if for any reason you were retarded and you forgot that tomorrow is easter
and you have forgotten to buy your chocolate.
come to see's candies
cause i'll be there
and so will my cousin and almost everyone else that works there.
you get samples from us, ONLY IF YOU DESERVE THEM.
i fucking hate people. too.
just had to tell you.
if you worked at see's you'd understand.
the only people that come in are spoiled ass rotten.
they think they can get whatever they whine for.
and its fucking annoying.
you know sometimes, i just dont think you really need to have that lil piece of stale candy.
(P.S the samples that we give you, they'll past their pull date, meaning we cant sell it anymore...aka stale)
so when people say shit like "oh you guys stoped giving samples?" or " when did you guys stop sampling?"
or my favorite, " during christmas they had someone going around giving samples!"
well so what? its not christmas you mutha fucker.
see's customers think they own that store AND the employees.
FUCK THAT AND FUCK THEM.
but besides that. i really do like my job! haha
i know it doesn't sound like it but
i like the people i work with
minus a few
but its generally a good place to work.
NOT DURING HOLLIDAYS tho.
but now i have to go get ready for work.
so see ya later.
oh and tomorrow i'll be at church for like a half hour or something. i'll try to get there early.
<3

koekoe @ 2006-03-29T10:38:00

2006-03-29T18:50:02Z

alot has happened in the last couple weeks.
[.] moving out ...with my boyfriend.. & 3 other boys
[.] losing a friend i thought i knew
[.] starting a new hobby...
[.] still going to school....& work
[.] enjoying every moment of it all.

koekoe @ 2006-02-20T19:29:00

2006-02-21T03:35:04Z

soooo i moved out last week andddd its tight. come overrrrrr

these are the four boys i live with

   phil >
jakey >
andrew >

daniel >

its pretty much amazing so come over whenever ♥

koekoe @ 2006-02-07T15:20:00

2006-02-07T23:29:46Z

thats the paul i know and love emensely

one of the last pictures that will be taken in my room haha

this is my last week at home. sunday i am officially moving into my apartment, with my boys. so feel free to come over sunday night and chill. i wont be home till like 10:30. i work from 1:30-10 sunday, so i basically dont have to move much of my shit over haha but i know when i get home i'll prolly be stressed out as to where the boys put everything. but oh well. nothing i can do about that.

♥

winter break is officially OVERRR

2006-01-30T03:16:17Z

this is my last day of winter break. i :

worked from 9:30-6 . yeah thats all i've done haha oh well i hopefully will be busy tonight. i think i might start packing. um i'm moving out! incase you hadnt heard. exciting news huh! well peace out?

koekoe @ 2006-01-20T01:52:00

2006-01-20T09:57:07Z

im sick again. :[ i get sick way too much. i thought by getting my tonsils out when i was like 9 i wouldn't be sick any more. blahhhh

in other news. i found a cd full of pictures from prom 2004 and i love love love this picture and im putting it every where haha so if you're my friend on myspace you're prolly sick of this picture but what ev!

koekoe @ 2006-01-16T15:47:00

2006-01-16T23:58:48Z

i thought this lil guy was cute.

i changed it a lil.... it was :

lame!

so i made it this :

haha im lookin forward for school to start on the 30th. i still have like half a month till then. ahh

koekoe @ 2006-01-10T01:41:00

2006-01-10T09:45:49Z

no one looks at this anymore haha .....kinda a waste of time. eh.

im back with andrew.

dats it.

♥

lets catch a movie

2006-01-02T07:24:59Z

new year. yup. new thing. im gonna post a pic on here everytime i post. yup you're so freakin excited. me too.

i stole this from jake on myspace.

I confess that in 2005 I...

( ) stayed single the whole year.
( ) got your first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
( ) made-out for the first time
(x) made-out in/on a car
(x) kissed in the snow
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) fell in love
( ) fell in love with a fool
(x) had my heart broken
( ) broke someone else's heart
(x) had a stalker
(x) had a good relationship with someone
( ) questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
(x) had sex
(x) lost your virginity
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
( ) had a gay marriage
(x) kissed someone of the same sex
(x) dated someone you'll never forget
(x) done something you've regretted
( ) lost your true love
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under miseltoe

WORK/SCHOOL

( ) got a promotion
( ) got a pay raise
(x) changed jobs
(x) got a job
( ) lost your job
(x) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) dated your boss
( ) dated your boss' daughter/son
( ) got fired from your job
( ) got straight A's
(x) met one teacher you really like
(x) met one teacher you really hated
( ) found the subject you love
(x) failed a class
(x) cut class
(x) skipped school
( ) got into a fight with a classmate
(x) did something you were proud of
(x) discovered a new talent
( ) gave the teachers a reason to teach
(x) proved yourself an idiot
(x) embaressed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher
( ) got a lead in the school play
( ) made a varsity team
( ) made a junior varsity team
(x) were involved in something you'll never forget
( ) got sent to the office

OTHER

( ) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) double-dipped
(x) skinny-dipped
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went to camp
( ) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
(x) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) flirted shamelessly
(x) visited a foreign country
( ) visted a foreign state
( ) cooked a disasterous meal
(x) lost something important to you
(x) got a gift you adore
(x) realized something new about yourself
( ) went on a diet
( ) tried to gain weight
(x) dyed your hair
(x) came close to losing your life
( ) someone close to you died
(x) went to a party
(x) drank alchohol
(x) drank alchohol underage
( ) tried drug(s)
(x) got drunk
( ) got arrested
( ) read a great book
(x) saw a great movie
( ) saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
(x) saw your favorite band/artist live
( ) saw someone famous in person
(x) did something you want to tell everyone
(x) Enjoyed this year overall

i enjoyed it cause hey im here alive in california. and what could be better?

koekoe @ 2005-12-29T19:49:00

2005-12-30T03:52:36Z

someone tried to break into my car last night. and i didn't see until today. my window is broken and the door is kinda pryed off. i had no idea that i lived in the ghetto. i wish i lived at my old house. im in the weirdest mood. im pissed off/depressed/scared. someone just tried to break into MY car. out of all the cars in the parking lot. why mine? they didn't take anything tho. which is weird cause all my cds were right next to the window that they broke. im so pissed. ugh i just wanna cry.

simple as that.

2005-12-25T07:17:50Z